Self-Care During Life Transitions: Finding Stability When Everything Feels Uncertain
Life doesn't ask permission before it changes everything. We cant control all circumstances.
One day you’re following your usual routine, and the next you’re dealing with a breakup, a job change, a health issue, a big move, or family changes that leave you feeling lost. Sometimes, it’s several of these at once.
During major transitions and challenges, self-care isn't about bubble baths and face masks (though those can help). It's about survival. It's about maintaining your foundation when the ground beneath you is shifting. It's about remembering you're a person with needs, not just someone who manages crises.
Many people believe self-care is selfish when life gets tough, but that’s not true. When everything is pulling at your energy, looking after yourself isn’t a luxury; it’s necessary.
Why self-care matters most when life gets hard
Remember the advice on airplanes: put on your own oxygen mask first. It’s not selfish; it’s practical. You can’t help anyone else if you’re running on empty.
The same idea applies to life changes. When you’re facing big transitions, your body and mind are already under stress. You have less energy and it’s harder to make decisions. Ignoring your own needs doesn’t make you stronger or more committed; it actually makes things harder to handle.
Self-care during difficult times serves three critical functions:
It regulates your nervous system. Change triggers stress responses in your body. Regular self-care practices signal safety to your nervous system, helping you move out of constant fight-or-flight mode.
It preserves your identity. During major transitions, it's easy to lose yourself in the chaos. Self-care activities remind you who you are beyond the crisis you're managing.
It gives you a sense of stability. When life feels uncertain, small, regular acts of self-care become familiar routines that help you feel grounded.
What self-care actually means
Self-care means choosing to look after your body, mind, and spirit. It’s different for everyone, and it doesn’t have to look perfect. For some, it’s a hard run to clear their mind. For others, it’s lying on the floor and doing nothing for twenty minutes.
The main rule of self-care is to pay attention to what you truly need right now, not what you think you should need.
Are you running on adrenaline? You might need rest, not another productivity strategy.
Are you numb and disconnected? You might need movement or creativity to feel alive again.
Are you overwhelmed by decisions? You might need simple, familiar comfort.
Your needs will change as you go through challenges. What worked last week might not help today. That’s not a failure; it’s just adapting.
The permission problem
This is where many people struggle: they know self-care matters, but they can’t bring themselves to actually allow it.
You might think:
"I don't have time for this right now"
"Other people need me more than I need a break"
"This feels selfish when there's so much to handle"
"I should be able to push through without needing extra support"
Think of it this way: looking after yourself doesn’t take time away from fixing your problems. It’s what helps you handle them.
When you’re facing big changes, you might feel guilty for wanting self-care. Notice that feeling, accept it, and take care of yourself anyway.
You’re not being selfish. You’re making sure you can keep going.
Self-Care strategies for different needs
Everyone’s challenges and needs are different, so here are some self-care ideas grouped by what they offer. Pick what feels most helpful to you right now.
When You Need to Calm Your Nervous System
Big life changes can leave you feeling both tense and tired. These practices can help your body feel safe again:
Gentle movement: Try yoga, stretching, or slow walks where you pay attention to your breath instead of worrying about burning calories.
Meditation or breathwork: Just five minutes of focused breathing can help calm your body and mind.
Taking a warm bath or shower: The warmth helps your body feel safe and relaxed.
Listening to calming music or nature sounds: Give yourself time to really listen, without doing anything else.
When You Need to Feel Like Yourself Again
Big changes can make you feel out of place in your own life. These ideas can help you reconnect with who you are:
Engage in your favourite hobby: Do something you enjoyed before things got tough, and let yourself enjoy it without feeling guilty.
Listen to music that moves you: Pick songs that you really connect with, not just background noise.
Read for pleasure: Choose books, articles, or poetry that nourish your mind instead of focusing on your problems.
Creative expression: Write, draw, paint, cook, or dance. Let yourself create without worrying about the result.
Journal your thoughts and feelings: Put what’s on your mind down on paper to help clear your head.
When You Need Physical Grounding
Sometimes your mind feels overloaded, and you need to get back in touch with your body:
Vigorous exercise: Run, cycle, lift weights, or do any activity that helps you feel present in your body.
Nourish your body on purpose: Make a meal with foods you enjoy, or treat yourself to something that feels healthy and comforting.
Skincare or hair care routines: The act of caring for your body can help you feel more grounded.
Rearrange or clean your space: If tidying up helps you feel better mentally, do it—but only if it feels helpful, not like another chore.
When You Need Rest Without Guilt
Rest is often the hardest kind of self-care to allow yourself:
Truly do nothing: Lie down, stare at the ceiling, and just exist without trying to be productive. This is especially important if you’re running on adrenaline.
Take a nap or go to bed early: Being tired makes everything harder, and rest is not a sign of weakness.
Say no to obligations: Turn down invitations or requests that leave you feeling drained.
Spend quiet time alone: No distractions, no demands—just you and some silence.
When You Need Connection or Joy
Being alone can make tough times even harder. Sometimes, self-care is about reaching out to others:
Spend time with people who lift you up: Choose those who let you be yourself, not those you have to impress.
Share self-care activities: Take a walk with a friend, cook together, or work on a creative project as a team.
Try something new: Take a class, try a new recipe, explore a different route, or start a new hobby. Doing something different can break the cycle of overthinking.
Take a spontaneous road trip or change your surroundings: Getting away from your usual environment can help clear your mind.
Making Self-Care Sustainable During Crisis
A common mistake is treating self-care like just another task on your to-do list, which can add pressure instead of helping you relax.
Instead, approach it this way:
Start small. You don’t need a long routine. Five minutes of focused breathing, ten minutes of stretching, or listening to one uplifting song all count.
Make self-care a daily habit, but keep it flexible. Do something for yourself each day, and let it change depending on what you need.
Notice what really helps you. Pay attention to how you feel after different self-care activities. Some things that are supposed to help might not work for you, and that’s okay.
Let go of trying to be perfect. The goal isn’t perfect self-care, it’s making sure you don’t forget about yourself during tough times.
Your Invitation
If you’re going through a big life change or challenge right now, here’s what I want you to remember:
You don’t have to have all the answers. You don’t need to be strong every second. You don’t have to give up your own well-being to deal with your problems.
What matters is remembering that you’re important, not just as someone who fixes things or helps others, but as a whole person with needs, feelings, and a body that deserves care.
Self-care in hard times isn’t about avoiding your reality. It’s about giving yourself the tools to face it feeling steady, not worn out.
So here’s your permission: Take the time you need. Do what helps you. Let go of the guilt. You’re not being selfish; you’re making a wise choice.
What’s one small act of self-care you can give yourself today? Not tomorrow, not when things settle down, but right now?
Start there.
I'd love to hear from you: What does self-care look like for you during challenging times? What helps you stay grounded when everything feels uncertain? Share in the comments below, your experience might be exactly what someone else needs to hear.
Take care,
Cornelia x
